thank you maybank, thank you dmt, especially jocelyn for you know what ;)

had a gre8 time today.

mark lee is god damn funny.. same for kuma and the FD.

=))







boring day. no motivation at work at all.

my motivational factor wasnt there. =(

nevertheless, im looking forward to tomorrow!!!

finally.. and i hope jocelyn does keep her promise of assisting me. hehehe =)







god damn it.. does god wanna give me a chance or not i wonder..

it's like so close! den i missed it by THIS much.. sigh..

just one more step.. but situational circumstances does not permit..

zzz..

2 more days!!!!







fuck..

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

should I or should I not?

i dun wan to be the bad guy...

but...

sigh..







Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
all that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love, is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you, are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away, goin’ away

you got me hypnotized,
so mesmerized. =)








"it's not you that i can't give up, it's the memories we shared that i can't give up.."

"wo fang bu xia de bu shi ni.. shi wo men yi qian de hui yi.."

everyone i talked to.. and i mean EVERYONE thinks its pure RUBBISH..

"wat kind of logic is that?" "wat rubbish is this?" "she must be mad"
"ain't it the same? she can't give up the memories, but without you where this memories come from..?"

are jus some of the replies.. EVERYONE i talked to so far thinks its crap..

so jus for your info.. ur jus full of lies and rubbish too.

disgusted.







mom's OOJ..

and my health is going down.

can it get any worse..

------------------------------

all i think about.. is you..







some bitches think they are so damn pretty..

claiming guys are lining up for them all e way to jurong..

let me tell you.. you are just an average bitch.

thr are MANY, and i mean MANY gals out thr who are prettier, smarter and wittier than you..

both outside and their character.. they beat you hands down.. =)

krisss you are the perfect goddess.~







ahhh damn it..

MAY I GET WELL SOON -_-

sore throat.. flu.. running nose..

i think fever's next..

wat can get worse man.. zzz

anyway today's afternoon meeting with dbc was interesting wif jing ting's witty humour.

lol. ok at least i learnt smth too =)

downing panadols and slp! i need to regen faster!!

or how to train?!?!

------------------------------

u seem unwell too when i saw you today..

hope ur not sick too =((







ahh my throat is hurtssssssssssssss....

zzz and i still havta work tml.. =((

but nvm krissification is there.. =))

crazy night
dance all night
let me take you home tonight
it's all right







damn it. i can feel it.

im falling sick.. my throat is damn damn damn pain..

must be due to these few weeks of "training"..

but nevertheless who cares if smth really happen?

dun giv a shit.. life's a bitch..

live for the moment.

let's party on~~







these few weeks of training has strengthen my resistance..

now even flaming lambo has no effect at all..

omg i hav to spend more money in this case.. =((

but its ok.. its worth it =D







friday phuture is WICKED. =)

though wasnt VERY fun yesterday, but was still FUN enough.

learnt quite a few things.

though, its quite tiring and my legs are wobbly now.

i still feel good. =D

let's make it a weekly event.

must level up fast!

muahahaha.

having a showdown tonight. more POISON! i LIKEEEE~~

------------------------------

and to the one in black, i still cant forget you =(

------------------------------

an advance happy birthday to you, cutie. =)







i have 2 birthday sticks this year! =p

y must you be so cute and adorable?!?!? aahhhh~~~ >.<







still deep in my heart im wishing for something impossible for my birthday.

this.. like you said bro.. shows im human after all..

dat's why i said some ppl do not deserve to be humans.

nevertheless, i wld like to thank my colleagues for surprising me with a cake.

though ive been thr for onli 2 months, you ppl r really a great bunch to be with.

a very big thank you to matin, leela, tanty, zahrina, viki, jocelyn, gladys, grace, shirley.

you ppl brighten my gloomy birthday at least by a bit =)

im glad to have you ppl as my colleagues and glad dat i will still work wif you ppl in time to come.
so looking forward to the 30th of AUG! =)

went to try out some costumes during lunch time with some of em.. uploaded on friendster.
looks kool =)

omg man, i shud hav treated kriss to a slice of e cake. =(

blew again =(

thx also to kah kee, ger and poon yuan, leon and vix for remembering / smsing "happy birthday". ty ty.

others? bo xim. lol.

back to the PHUTURE tml? hope so.







生日快樂 我對自己說
蠟燭點了 寂寞亮了
生日快樂 淚也融了
我要謝謝你給的你拿走的一切

3 more days to yours.








moving on from the untactful comments,

2 news from work today, both gd and bad.

bad thing is I LOST $1.1K for nothing. ZZzzZzzzZZz. sian.

gd thing is.. I SHANT DISCLOSE, ask me if you wan to know, my readers =)

MUAHAHAHAHAHAA.

but all i can say is that it's more worth it to lose the $1.1k and to fall deeper into KRISSPRESSION.

LOL =D







haha i can see some creature is affected by my comments.

anyway just to answer to ur queries.

1. i nv blame it on you onli. quarrels are the fault of BOTH parties. but some just choose to escape instead of solving it. dat was why it has become like this. y can i think that i like another gal so easily while im with you? ever thought bout it? no. all you can think of is "he likes her, he likes her, he likes her"
indeed i push you down the stairs before but dat really wasnt intentional and yes i also did attitude you before. but have you ever think of the times you attitude me? is it much worse than the ones ive shown to you? is it more often and more frequent than those than ive shown? i can proudly and confidently say that the last 2 years my temper has changed for the better. but sad to say, u did not.

2. of cuz i will enjoy my bitches. its YOU who taught me to. "trust no one. hurt others rather than hurt myself." remember? =)

3. o when did i delete ur post? if you mean the ones in the chatbox, plz kindly note there is A LIMIT to how many msgs can be shown at a time. if you dunno, kindly google cbox and it will assist you there. i dun dare let ppl c wat i did to you? wat a joke. lol. more like wat you did to me.

4. yes you did not contact other guys. but ur mind has alrdy given up on this rs. ur mind is telling you "thr are many other guys out there, and sumore 2 are wooing you at the moment". so what's the difference? i just made a silly mistake, and there goes my lifeline.

5. indeed you tried hard. but humans do err. when i told u i am nearly giving up hope, you clinged cuz you still believe that we can make it. but when i err, when i finally realise my mistake, who was there? no one. you gave me the so called hope, and crushed it instantly. ty.

6. if you consider TWO WEEKS to like a person is indeed very long, den ok. the joke's on you. TWO WEEKS TO LIKE SOMEONE. how ridiculous. ANYONE AND EVERYONE i talked to, told me 4 years of rs, they would take at least half a year or even more to heal. cuz 4 yrs is neither short nor long, and moreover there are many many memories.
since you can like a dog within 2 WEEKS, i hav to congratulate you on ur recovery power. ITS TOP NOTCH. if thr's a award for THE FASTEST REGENERATION RATE, you wld have won it without doubt. =)

7. how many times ive hurt you? ok if you wan to compare the no. of times, look back these 4 years ok and ask yourselves, ask your heart how many times you HAVE HURT ME instead of asking how many times ive hurt you. i can assure you with my life i was HURT GREATER and the tears ive shed for this rs is MORE THAN YOU can ever imagine.

8. u nv do anything to let me down huh? remember what you said? "i wun fall for another guy dat easily if i broke up with you." and "i wun enter another rs so quickly." and "it takes v long for me to heal if we really brk up." remember all these lies you told me?
let me ask you one simple question, IF YOU DID NOT LIKE THE GUY AT ALL, NOT EVEN ONE BIT, WHEN YOU ARE STILL WIF ME, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ENTER A RS SO FAST WITH THE GUY? im not only highlighting this incident only, ask yourself for the previous 2 INCIDENTS which i shant say for i dun wan to embarass you further, how FAST it took you to fall for another guy? 6 months? 1 year? lol. and you still can say its LONG. wat a joke.

9. if your conscience is clear, GOOD FOR YOU! =) may you NOT have sleepless nights then since your conscience is so clear. haha.

10. did i not say you did not love me before? plz quote me. i dun remember saying so. i jus say you have taught me LOVE DOES NOT EXIST in this world. i have to greatly thank you for that. =)

11. o? ok im a dog if that makes you happy =)
but the ppl i talk to, those whom ive opened my heart to, they know who are the real lowly bitches and bastards. at least i dont FALL SO EASILY AND SO QUICKLY FOR SOMEONE, and also PLAY SNEAK ATTCK ON PPL. =)

12. school is a place for study alright? if you wanna insist that i have something wif her, so be it =) i am too tired to explain to you any further. becuz all along i have told you UMPTEEN TIMES I HAVE NOTHING GOING ON WIF HER. and just as normal friends. some coward do not dare to come out to ask herself and instead cling on to her assumptions.
my CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR. and i do not have sleepless nights anymore, thanks to YOUR TEACHINGS. =)

what you have posted just makes me even more disgusted with you.

2 teachings that will forever be etched into my mind.

i. "BEING GOOD AND FAIR TO OTHERS IS BEING CRUEL TO YOURSELF. HURT OTHERS RATHER THAN HURT YOURSELF."

ii. "EVEN IF THE WHOLE WORLD BETRAYS AND LOOKS DOWN ON ME, I WILL LOVE MYSELF EVEN MORE."







a star once asked a human "if you're not happy, y don't u leave her?"

the human thought for a while n asked the star "would you ever leave the sky?"

this is the story everyone heard. but ever tot of the continuation?

the star pondered. yes the star wld not leave the sky

but now the sky has shrouded the star with clouds.

that nothing can see the real star anymore.

all ppl can see is just the clouds covering the real star.

becuz to sky, it was just one of the many stars up there.

even if that star does not exist, even if the star vanishes, even if the star dies,

the sky wld not giv a damn, becuz to the sky, it think its very great as there r many other stars who wan to stick wif the sky. so that particular star means nothing at all.

that is why the star has lost its sparkle, n slowly fading away..

living in the sky yet covered by clouds, all ppl will see is just a mask.







wat others told me were right, there is NOTHING FAIR in this world. you have to fight for it.
so i do not bliff in this kinda so called faerie tales anymore.. they only exist in fantasies..
i shall remember this by hard..
"being fair and kind to others, is being CRUEL to yourself..
for one day it can just turn it back and bite you. this is the CRUEL reality."
IT has taught me this.
so why not i be the one who HURT others and BITE first before they strike?
like she oways claims: "i was hurt before, so now i rather hurt OTHERS than hurt myself"
imagine ur most loved one telling you this. which is she rather let you GET HURT?
u noe how i felt at that moment?
any kind of bf can tolerate this? i did. over these 4 years.
and in the end what did i get? a broken heart which i cant seem to mend back at all!
while she's out thr ENJOYING with the dog when she CLAIMS "she will NOT GO INTO ANOTHER RS SO FAST for she WILL BE DEEPLY HURT and UNABLE TO FORGET ME THAT FAST?" during the time when we were still tgt? she said this her VERY SELF.
and now, WHOS THE ONE FEASTING AND ENJOYING EVERY NIGHT?
so now i shall adopt her teachings and mentality. which is to have the first strike.







first thing in the morning is to see someone barking at my tagboard. haix

some ppl who r cowards who dun dare post their identity out.

may i know what you are scared of? a dog's bite?

haha. get a life la "anoymous"

u think just by putting anoymous i dunno who u r? i dun nd to tell you how i know anyway. lol. loser.

you want to argue wif YOUR side of your story? i suggest you go home and fly a kite.

cuz you dunno everything, or rather.. ANYTHING. =)

e most irritating part is that you ASSUME im ENJOYING MY LIFE? haha.. wat a joke.. you r making a joke outta yourself you know? wanna come along wif me? you can interview my superiors, my colleagues, my friends to SEE FOR YOUSELF if im enjoying my life? or am I just puttin on a brave front in front of them? all of them know what happened to me alr. so you can seek your own truth wif your very own mouth and eyes, and not purely on ur imagination =)
who's ENJOYING LIFE MORE? you will be able to find out if you tail each of us for a wk =)
now it has a dog who is LOYAL giving her support EVERYTIME and JUST WHEN SHE NEEDS IT as it claims. i suggest you go find out more bout IT's life before you come and compare. ok mr know-it-all?

n just becuz i term them as bitches and say they love to be scrwed doggie style you r sayin i treat gals as sex slaves? haha. so if a kid watches tv, n says "im gonna rob the bank and screw all e ppl inside" does that make him a robber or a sodomizer? lol.

ever felt before the desperation inside you that eats you up so badly,
you cant do anything at all?

ever threw away your pride, your face, everything you had, to go beg for someone
and get treated so coldly right in your face and askin you to leave, saying "you do this jus to make yourself feel better?" when all her mind she can think of its "give up give up give up and doggie doggie doggie" [plz replace name of dog for doggie cuz i feel the dog's name is not worth to be mentioned]? ever wondered how that felt?

ever wondered how it feels like to be all so alone in this world, your friends are not thr for you, no one is thr for you and i really mean no one? i dun blame my friends cuz they r v bz. but you ever felt SO SO ALONE before? and IT can tell me it returns home everyday not earlier than 10pm during that period. which means she doesnt even give a fukin shit about us. she just wants to forget and give up. and she has e cheek to suggest to me that i just keep calling my frens out everyday and soon i will forget. IT thinks everyone is as free as her and her frens. but e truth is not everyone is. AND NOT EVERYONE is as UNFEEELING and can FORGET SO EASILY AS IF IT MEANS NOTHING AT ALL.

ever tried taking more than 10 slping pills a night, and still cant get to slp?

ever had the feeling of oblivion eatin into you every single day, every single minute, every single second?

ever had your most loved one saying you "aiya, he is useless one la" in front of your friends wif no regards to how you feel?

ever had your most loved one showing to you how unfeeling, how cold she can become in just a blink of an eye?

ever wonder how it felt like to be so down at work you cant do anything you have to go toilet so often just to prevent ur colleagues from seeing you cry and ur eyes turning so red from the sobbing and yet you still have to put on a brave front as if nothing ever happened?

ever wonder how it feels like to hav dat little bit of hope given and TOLD to you and CRUSHED WITHIN AN INSTANT when you did NOTHING AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG at all?

im e betrayer and it's e victim huh..? mr gre8 almight, i suggest that if you do not know how ive been victimize or rather who's been victimize more over this 4 years, plz do not comment.

IT once ask me "if this happen to another gal who can take it like me?"
i wld like to ask her back "who can bear with her temper, tantrums, and bad attitude at alot of times over these years?"
ALL IT ever thought of is herself. putting myself it ITs shoes huh?
kindly ask IT if she ever put herself in mine over these 4 years on how she has treated me.. and only given that so called 3 CHANCES when we were nearing the end?

therefore dear mr anoymous,
if you flame me after you know the whole thing, i will gladly let you flame.
but if you flame me based on ur assumptions and one-sided story
i suggest you don't act smart. just get smart first =)
or you will just get flamed yourself.







wat do you call a male dog? a bastard.

a female dog? bitch.

gre8 combo. =)

cuz some bitches just love to be scrwed doggie style.

i hate those kinda guys who think they r so gre8 when they actually steal gers at their lowest moment.

two words to describe. despicable cowards.

bastards who play cowardly tactics, entering when ppl are not aware.

coupled wif bitches who love to be touched and fucked everyday so that they hav a sense of security.
n bitches who claims to be independent but is actually just a liar inside.

this kinda dogs wun hav my blessings. forever.
for dogs deserve to be treated as dogs. =)

------------------------------

yawn. cant wait for my gucci wallet to arrive~~~

原諒我不成熟
不愛妳是藉口
好讓妳離開我
妳的寂寞 就給我承受　
換妳過更好的生活







方向盤周圍 回轉著我的後悔
我甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
停止狼狽 就讓錯純粹







mom's losing her job again.

sigh.

nv ending problems..

------------------------------

be strong....

fascination. charisma. beauty. attraction.

the GLAMOROUS life.







has someone been thinking of me or cursing me recently?

cuz ive been sneezing alot.

haha =/







"to you, he may only be one of your guys all along..
but to him, you mean the whole world to him.."

yes i know how it feels. =)

thats why i say nv let me c you again.

if u think ive hurt you more, think of how many more times you've hurt me over the years.
you have hurt me enuff too..

"even if the whole world betrays and look down on me, i must love myself even more.."







is there anyone out there as retarded as my bro?

throwing ice cubes out of the window towards ppl car from your house

and getting caught n dragged to the police station?

bloodi brainless retard.

total disgrace and disappointment to our family.

------------------------------

sad =(

i tendered. one month left wif my wonderful workplace.

hai.

and i will miss you..

my personal blog to vent out my stress and frustrations.
kindly leave if you hav unconstructive views or comments or keep them to yourself.

Hidden Sorrows




07081986
my closest, lowest points in life
如果我不是黄伟杰, 那该会有多好..


bitches
chilling out
ktv
dota
ktv
driving
cars


i need..
money and bitches
=)





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